Newsletters

It’s a brand new year!🎆 It’s a huge gift 🎁 and a privilege to be alive, to be of service, to have an opportunity to contribute to what we value and consider important, enjoy life and, work to finish another year STRONG succeeding in achieving goals and experience fulfillment.

Sounds nice, right? Who would not want that? Yet, do we ACTUALLY get to EXPERIENCE it? 🙋‍♀️

No matter what year it is, there I am. Same me. New Versions of the same old situations and issues. Sound familiar?

Years change, yet what remains the same in them is the one who is experiencing them: us. The common denominator in all of our life experiences and all the years that come and go is you and I….us! 😊

Have you ever considered the question: “How do I want to experience life?”

Take it one step higher and make it less about you.  Make it more about you being “in life" as an integral part of others experiencing life a certain way as a result of you being in it. 🤨

How do you think you would experience life if you decided, as a matter of personal commitment, to be someone who makes others feel seen, heard, understood, and valued?  That as a result of them being with you their day were better than it would have been if they did not get to interact with you?

As an example, one way to go through life is to wake up and go from task to task to task and completely miss out on people who are in your life.  To ignore all those with whom you interact in your day as well as other beautiful experiences that may become available as a result of being fully present, awake, aware and intentional with how others are made to feel in your presence.  

As an example, a very common occurrence in health care settings is for some patients to treat paraprofessional/support staff members like objects, or with disrespect; but then to treat the doctor in a normal respectful manner, as if the other members of the team were of a lesser value.  Healthcare workers get trained to recognize and manage this, unfortunately, common dynamic. It likely occurs similarly in a variety of industries. Lets be honest: we’ve all done it, myself included!  What is the experience of the support staff when encountering this patient? What experience does the doctor have “cleaning up” the emotional mess left behind after that patient leaves?  

Another way of being is to wake up and CHOOSE to be in gratitude for those who will be placed in your lives each day, seek to be a blessing to all who encounter us, bring joy, bring peace, patience, encouragement, empowerment, laughter, excitement, empowerment, compassion, generosity and grace to all, especially those who do not normally get recognized nor acknowledged.

If fulfillment in life were only about tasks, checking off lists, accomplishing concrete goals, results, financial rewards, efficiency, status, recognition, admiration, looking good, and fame, then wouldn’t all people who have lots of money, elevated status and advanced achievements be happy, fulfilled and be having a great life’s experience all the time?

We KNOW that is not what happens. In fact, a lot of these accomplished, or “successful” people (probably some of whom you either know or you ARE that person) feel lonely, isolated and unhappy.  For these people what is missing is likely strong interpersonal relationships, meaningful work and feeling like they make a significant contribution to others.

Life exists in the interactions we have with others.  LIFE happens “out here” in the world of the actual real people in our lives: the housekeeper, the family member, the clerk, the coworker, the doctor, etc.  “Out here” meaning not “stuck in your head,” stuck in your expectations judgments, entitlements, and desires, but in the world around you, “authentically with” the actual people in your immediate surroundings.

Since we can’t control all the circumstances of life, including other people and their reactions, what CAN we control?

Our way of being. HOW we are in life’s circumstances and HOW we are with others, regardless of what happens or does not happen, completely independent of others’ reactions.  This is what is going to determine what we experience and what others will experience as a result of being in our presence. We CAN choose to be calm and at peace on the inside at all times, with all people and in all circumstances. It’s a gift of self mastery. It is a practice and can be developed.  

Instead of “being triggered” or “reactivated,” can you simply observe your feelings (anger, impatience, etc), let then float by, and stay in your chosen state of being? Yes, you can.

There is a branch of personal development and philosophy which studies “being.” Since we are called human beings (and not human doings or anything else), the being part is actually who we ARE (ie, how we are showing up in the world to ourselves and others) and it has EVERYTHING to do with how we get to experience life and how others experience life through us.  

It is worthwhile to be familiar with the study of being because if we are not familiar with it, we don't know that we are ordinarily largely constrained in a state of seeking to “be right” and "look good” from which not much new is possible.  

Will it be New Year, new us or New Year same old us.  That is, life just repeating itself, same things annoy and irritate us, same things make us impatient, stress us out, create depression, anxiety, overwhelm no matter where are go and what we do.

In personal development we call this “being fragile” - being at the mercy of people, events, life circumstances, emotionally reactive and not having the ability to remain in our chosen way of being. As an alternative we can be “powerful,” where we choose who we ARE.  That is, our way of being is determined by we, ourselves, not people or circumstances. We get this when we realize that we have the power to remain in our chosen state regardless what we may face.

Will it be a Happy New year? Well, we GET to choose! How we are (being) in it is going to determine what we get to experience. And if we raise our game and choose as a matter of personal commitment to bring happiness and joy to others, won’t we perhaps experience happiness and fulfillment too?

One of the ways to bring the joy is to smile and laugh more- if you are self conscious of your smile or don’t ABSOLUTELY LOVE your smile - schedule a FREE smile enhancement consultation with me.

If you have no idea what the rest of the email was about, you are confused about what I shared, you have never heard of “the study of being," and feel like even with the best intentions life just takes over and you don’t know how to be powerful and not fragile, schedule a call with me as a Certified High Performance Coach - let’s see what we can do together to have you EXPERIENCE the MOST HAPPY 2024! Click the clink to learn more:

https://inspirelivessd.com

“Do what you’ve never done to get what you’ve never gotten”

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” - Mahatma Ghandi. How do we do THAT? We CHOOSE our being and BE the change. 🔥❤️🔥

With love and gratitude,

Dr. Elona ❤️

I personally wrote this, not a 3rd party and no AI.